A Bachelors Diary Episode 6: Marrakesh Musings Part 1

Hey there internet world. How goes Pixeltown procrastination? Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts instead of doing that thing you are TOTALLY supposed to be doing right now so I'm going to try my best to make it an enjoyable break from today's todo list.

I felt it was time to write again seeing how it has been two weeks since my last post and there's been a fair bit rolling around in the old brain box. Now, sometimes when I write, I like to pen a tale that puts you in my shoes, gives you all the feels and shares a lesson that life has taught me. Click here for one of those. Other times it's more of a social commentary where I dissect an idea and try to cram in as much funny stuff as possible. Click here for that.
Today however, I just want to get some shit off my chest.
#thatswhatshesaid #shesaiditwasinkarmasutra #shelied
#hobbies

Moving on......

I'm going to do this post like a Coles notes of things on my mind regarding this little thing called The Bachelorette Canada and if you're sick of hearing about that (which is totally understandable) then here's some pointless explosions for you:

All better? Good. Now here's what has been rolling around in my head as of late.

Kevin P "Deckhand"?

Work in progress 👍🌞☺

A photo posted by Kevin Dexter (@kevindexter) on Jun 23, 2016 at 5:10pm PDT

One of the questions I keep getting asked is what is a deckhand, and when did that happen? For many of my friends, the deckhand gig seems new. Truth is, I had been planning it for a couple years now, taking courses and building contacts in the yachting world. After filming the Bachelorette, I pulled the pin and flew to France to find a job on a boat. Fast forward to today and I can say that yes, I finally did find a job and I now work and live on a yacht that is based in Florida for the winter. Hello trips to the Caribbean, goodbye winter air that makes my face hurt.

As for what the job entails, it is basically everything involved in taking care of the boat and the guests on it. There's a million things to do and it's a really interesting and challenging job. It has been a pretty intense experience so far, especially seeing how I basically know nothing about boats and had to battle to get the job #creativelywrittenresumesftw but all will come in time..... and so will a blog telling this story in greater depth.

Not a bad way to bank the bucks for travel days.

A video posted by Kevin Dexter (@kevindexter) on Sep 29, 2016 at 8:46am PDT

The Drew Show

Every day I get asked about Drew. "Is he really like that in person? Did you guys get along? Was he just acting?" TBH I'm beyond sick of talking about the guy as I didn't sign up to be on the Drew show. So to answer this one last time: Yes, sometimes Drew is an ass, but he can also be a really fun guy too. He is both a good guy and an asshole. It depends on his mood. It's worth remembering that an experience like this is designed to make you emotional and play on your insecurities so while I definitely didn't always agree with the things I heard come out of his mouth.....

I tried my best to relate knowing that this was a stressful situation to go through and we all handled that stress differently. That said, at the end of the day; you are your actions.

Speaking of his actions, there is one thing I would like to say regarding everyone's favourite villain: on our tea market group date in Marrakesh, Jasmine and I snuck off from the guys and were in the middle of a pretty heavy convo..... when Drew entered to steal her away. Standard Bachelor procedure right? Well, what you didn't see on TV was that Drew could've interrupted and cut me off like most guys would....but he instead chose not to. He saw that what I was saying was important and showed me the respect by hanging back and letting me finish. Had he not given me that, things could've ended very differently later on that night. It showed me a side of Drew that most people didn't get a chance to see. I was really struggling on this date and lost in my head so I need a moment to clarify things with Jas. Drew saw that, knew it was important to me and and let me have my moment with her. So if you ever read this Drew, thank you for that.

But lezbi honest; you don't look like the reading type Drew.  OOOOOH #bachelorburn #thisishowweshowlove
Just kidding bro. One love.

One love..... for earplugs;)

Group Date Hate


KW and I are pretty different in a lot of ways but one thing we definitely agree on is group dates. They suck. A lot. I'd rather get in a boxing match with bees than ever do a group date again. Group dates are kind of like when Tinder meets Uber Pool. Ya... this is just not the ride share I'm looking for. I'm all for saving the environment but it turns out the term "going green" actually meant green with jealousy. Good to know.
"On tonights episode of the Bachelorette Canada: Another group date! And after the show don't forget to stay tuned for a brand new episode of A&E's "Escaping Polygamy" at 9/7 central."
Ya I probably shouldn't make fun of that.......but, jokes.
In Jamaica we talked about "One Love" at Bob Marley's studio....... apparently they mean that literally.

No thanks.

I remember David called me the group date assassin (which I wasn't) but whatever luck I had in Jamaica I definitely forgot to pack for Quebec because once I got there it was straight struggles for the old "Kevin P". No more winning of group dates. No more time with Jasmine. Luckily, I didn't have much time to be bummed about it because I was too busy getting to be part of the Cirque De Soleil!!! How cool was that?! I still can't believe that happened. That experience was so so great and I'm pretty sure I found my next profession when my sailor days are sunk.

Skip ahead to 20:04 for my disturbingly good poll skills.

And to answer everyone's question: No. I have never worked as a stripper before, but am I ever excited to get to listen to jokes about working the pole for the rest of my life. Thank you for that Bachelorette Canada. All said and done it was still worth it though. Something to throw on my already weird resume under "Special Skills." Pole work. That's a surefire hire right there;)
That experience was definitely a great memory for me. I love rock climbing and I'm a bit of a monkey so I liked the challenge. The trainers at Cirque actually told me I should come back and keep training and I might just take them up on that when I decided to quit adulting and join the circus.
One last thing: Dear David, your activity was an EasyBake oven compared to mine so stop with the complaining already. #toppedthat

After Montreal we hit up Quebec City and it was there that we went all in on the Canada clichés. We donned flannel, swigged syrup, chopped wood for love and stopped just short of hockey fights followed by apologies. Soorry bout dat:)



Seriously though. What in the canuck does chopping wood have to do with anything? Why did they insist on me wearing a XXL lumberjack shirt?! How is Chris so secretly strong? Why was there SOOOOOO many damn nails?! #marathonofsuck #rightarmdiedthatday #goodbyelovelife
It was rigged I say! Rigged.

Ok fair enough, I sucked. I'd club a baby seal to get that day back and give it another swing of the axe. I misjudged you giant log. Turns out you were the real deal and apparently I'm just the wrong kind of Axe man.


Like I've said before, I've had a bit of a weird life, but that's a story for another day.

Part 2 of this one tomorrow.
Now get back to ignoring that todo list;)

A Bachelor's Diary: Why say yes to maybe

Chilling at my family cabin in Northern Quebec Canada, life was calm as I regrouped from my last adventure. This past one, a crazy two months in France and Italy found me searching for a new job in the yacht world. It was a great experience...... that was all consuming and tiring. At my cabin however, the world moves slow, which was exactly what I needed. I was unplugged from it all, hanging out with my pops and trading stories by the fireplace. Me with newly acquired ones and him with old ones I've heard a thousand times before but willing to hear again. Chopping wood, building things and doing woodsy guy-type stuff, it was everything I needed to slow the blood and reconnect with my Canadian-ness after a Euro overload of too much bread, cheese and the wrong kind of football.

After a while being MIA from the "internets" I decided it was probably time to check in and see what was going on in the online world. Can't be having everyone forget about me after all. Besides, if a model chops wood in the forest but doesn't Instagram it, did it even happen?

No. 

The answer is clearly no.

Chopping wood? Just let me go get my new white dress shirt

 “Use my phone, just be careful about not going over on data.” my dad foreshadowed. So, of course as soon as I logged in, the phone exploded with beeping and notifications, each laughing at my dad's data limit. It went off like Trump on a lie detector. It beeped like Snoop dog going through airport security. It was beeping so much that I worried it was having a stroke.....so naturally I did what anyone would do in that situation: I laid the phone on it's side, smushed an Aspirin into the mouth piece and told it to remain calm as I waited for the its blood pressure to return to normal.

I took first aid. This is all standard procedure.
Obvs.

Anyways, it was then that I saw this message, in one form or another, over and over and over.

“DUDE YOU'RE ON THE BACHELORETTE!?!?!?!”

Ohhhh ya. That. 

Goodbye calmness of cabin, hello social media sh*t storm.

My secret had been revealed. A secret I had been holding in my back pocket for the last 8 months. One I had put on the back burner while in Europe and that I had mostly stopped thinking about.... but now that was over and it was public. A secret no more.

This just in:

I am now "Kevin P" one of too many bachelors on The Bachelorette Canada

Yup. That happened.
So break out the snacks, put your feet up by the fire place and grab a seat besides my pops, because......it's story time. 

It all started back in December when a good friend of mine called me up and said:

"Hey Kev, I'm working with the Bachelorette Canada and I thought you might be a good bachelor. Interested?"

Now I know this isn't a normal thing to have happen to most.... but my life seems to attract randomness so I've become oddly 

                     Comfortable in chaos

But to this idea however, my first reaction wasn't great.

Nope

"No this is not for me. I'm not your dude. I don't really watch reality TV and I'm probably not the kind of guy you would want." I told her. And that was that. Story done. 

That time I was almost on The Bachelorette....

Juuuuuust kidding. Don't get up just yet.

Weeks later she came back to me, this time pressing it and wanting to know more about why I wasn't interested. "Well, don't they want the opposite of me? Some guy with a good career, who y'know.....owns things and has stuff? Someone with a number in front of all the zero's in their bank account? Someone who wants a white picket fence and a shiny car? Shouldn't you be looking for a firefighter or a doctor or something?"

To which she replied "But that's why we think you're perfect for this. You're different from the other guys. You have an interesting story to tell!"

Playing to my vanity. Well done friend. 

Well done.

So, this went on back and forth for a while with me not knowing what to do until one day I finally asked a good friend for her opinion. 

Should I do this?

Her response?
"Why are you saying no? You like adventure. THIS is adventure! You want to push yourself and do new things. THIS is all that!"
"What's the issue?"

What's the issue?! How about: How would they portray me? Would I make an ass of myself on national television? Would I forever be known as that guy on that show? 

I had valid reasons to be wary of something like this. I don't want to be painted as someone other than me. I want to be known for who I am. I don't want to look like a jerk and be forever remembered for it. There's no end to the list of those dudes.

I could see arguments for both sides though. Part of me was really interested and excited at the idea but what if it was a mistake I would regret later on? Was I misreading this?

You don't want to be that guy who misreads a situation....like, for example: when you offer someone gum and they don't take it.

Trust me bro, take the gum.

So yes, I know I sound a bit gun shy, focussing on what could go wrong....
But I've been talked into mistakes before.

Do runway they said....

    

So forgive me if I'm a wee bit hesitant.

But for all the reservations and soul crushing runway outfits aside, the more I thought about my friends advice, the more I realized that maybe she was right. Why was I pushing this opportunity away? I've said before that one of my biggest fears is that I won's seize the opportunities my life gives me.... and yet here was this opportunity sitting

                                                                             RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

Just waiting for me to see it. Sure, I wanted this to be on my own terms and had my doubts but the truth is you can't control everything. So are you going to turn down opportunities just because you can't control every angle?
It's important to  See things for what they are and not just what you want them to be
Yes, it's a TV show for ratings and they might portray me in a way that I don't like. That's a possibility. Yes, I very well could totally embarrass myself (if there's dancing, this is an absolute certainty) but who am I kidding? There's a ton of embarrassing stuff that Google could find on me anyways so what difference does it make? At what point do you have to laugh at it all and let go of your desire for perfection? 

Because it just doesn't exist.



So just let go already

And as for being remembered as that guy from that show? Well, maybe the people who don't know me may remember me that way.... but for anyone who does know me (the people I actually care about) they know that this will be just another chapter in my already improbably weird life so far. 

Just another story for the cabin if you will;)

How's that popcorn treating ya btw?

Putting all my own personal fears aside, I took a real look at it: Travel the world, crazy adventure..... and maybe even......find love?
Now the first two are easy yes's... but that third one... love. Well that's mucho más complicado mi amigo. It's like Inception: I really like it....but I'm totally lost.

Love is and has always been hard for me. I've never been great at opening up to fully let someone in. The mall cop security guard that protects my heart shaped box has been a bit too strict on the old guest list.

But this situation was bringing to light something that I've already been needing to face.
              The real adventure IS love

It's not just where you go and what you do, it's who you do it with.
So what about love then? Well there's no certainties there either but if ever there was a time to let go and go for it, isn't it in the search for love? Isn't that what this whole thing is about?
Who knows...... Maybe she'll like me, maybe she won't. Maybe it will just be as simple as making a new friend? Or maybe the improbable will happen and we'll actually hit it off? Maybe we'll even fall in love together? 

......or maybe I'll get dumped on national TV and it will hurt like the day after Burning Man.

But either way, isn't it worth it to try? 

My travels have taught me a lot about life but more than anything I've learned that this whole thing isn't worth much if it isn't shared..... and I know now more than ever that I want to share my life with someone. For a long time I wasn't so sure about that, wasn't even sure if I deserved it but I've been Han Solo for long enough to know that I need more to move forward. To keep growing. I've done life on my own. I've proved I can do that. But I don't want to live that way anymore.

Be strong enough to do it on your own, be stronger in knowing you don't have to.

I'm at a point in my life where I want to take care of someone. I want to know everything about each other. I want to let her in to see me for who I am. I want to build each other into the best versions of who we can be. To be stronger together and take on the world as we push ourselves into the unknown. Off into adventure.


Co-pilots of our own journey.

I know..... there was a lot of feels in that last paragraph. 

But it all comes out sooner or later and the truth is, 

I'm a romantic at heart.

Just don't you tell anyone alright meow?

The point of all this is there are always countless reasons not to do something. Ways in which your perfectly laid plans of how this is all supposed to work out could come crashing down but realistically it's not going to work out the way you planned anyways.

There's a lot of maybe's in life.... but doesn't it make more sense to look at what could maybe go right instead of always looking at what might maybe go wrong?

Because the truth is...

Better things happen when you say yes than when you say no. 

So look past the safety net of saying no and potential perceived failures and

Hurry up and make the decision that your life is going to be awesome. 

No matter what turns you find down the road. Because it's the only life you get.

As for me, I have a path to walk in my life and it's damn sure going to be one that follow's my possibilities and not my fears. One that sees maybe as a good thing and not a reason to say no. And maybe, just maybe I'll find someone to walk that path with me......and that would be really great. 

In fact, you could say...

That would be roses;)

So I'm looking forward to this next adventure and I'm excited that you will get to experience it with me my friends. If you still own a TV that is.
If not, you can catch me here because I'll be writing about it. 

See you in September:)

Long story long; 

The end.

               

My dad:

 "So what you're saying is that you went over on my data?"