It's the last day of 2015. The last time ever that any human will be alive in that year. Crazy to think about isn't it? With another pass around the sun comes another NYE. Another night to celebrate another year alive with good friends and merry cheer.
And yet...... I just don't want to.
I don't want to go out and party.
I don't want to celebrate and go get drunk.
This year, I found myself feeling not only hesitant to the idea of going out but actually a little irritated by it.
Which is kinda weird. Isn't it? Shouldn't I want to spend this last night of a great year celebrating life? Spending time with interesting people, being joyous and all the rest? Isn't that the normal thing to do?
Well.... maybe that's the problem for me.
I don't like being told what to do. What to feel.
"This is how normal people feel today"
"It's time to celebrate. Fun happens on this day."
Ya....no. It just doesn't ring true for me. Maybe it's my stubborn nature but for me, they can suck it.
I would rather party when I want to party. I would rather give friends gifts when I want to and not just because it's a certain day on the calendar. I've never liked expectations and with that I've always found myself resisting holidays. It just seems so canned and forced. If anything, it always made me feel like there was something wrong with me for not feeling like I was supposed to.
Hmmm. It's Tuesday. Why don't I feel like celebrating by painting eggs today? That's what I'm supposed to do. Shouldn't I want to cut down a tree and put it in the living room for a week? Put stuff on the front lawn? Put gifts in hanging socks? It's the 25th after all.
Clearly only a weirdo wouldn't see the appeal.
Well mark me a full till weirdo because I just don't see it. Especially for this one. I look at a day like NYE and think.....nope.
I don't care if there's shiny balls dropping or not.
The thought of going and fighting crowds to pay too much to go to some club, fighting for taxis, on something that isn't really any better than any regular night but we do it anyways because it's expected of us seems Jersey shore dumb to me. It's like fancy black friday but with booze and no deals. NYE is the premature champagne spray ejaculation of all the holidays. It's the one holiday that we all celebrate that has the most hype and the most let down. It's the M. Night Shyamalan of the events. Looks like it's going to be dope, everyone talks about it for weeks while making plans and then........all they get left with is a head ache and less money.
It's like that movie, Jupiter Ascending.
Which you didn't see.
So I'm going to skip the long cues for taxi's this year, the packed pretentious cover charge bars and the forced feelings. I will pass on the worry of making sure I have someone to kiss at 12 o'clock and the Ryan Seacrest countdown. I'm going to trade those plastic kazoo noisemakers and $16 Redbull vodkas for hot chocolate by the fireplace and comfy sweatpants that feel like a day long hug. Lastly, I'm not going to wake up tomorrow with a champagne hangover, glitter on my face and puke in my suit pocket where there used to be money.
Instead I will spend the night planning for better year ahead and I will wake up ready to make it happen. With no hangover no less.. I will spend the night imagining and visualizing a great 2016 that will further me into this beautiful world and make me a more knowledgeable thoughtful person. I will take advantage of these last few hours of this truly amazing year in my life to make sure the next one is even better, which might be hard to do because the last year was a serious high for me. Most of all, I will make sure that whatever I do, it's what makes me happy.......and not just something I'm supposed to do because the calendar tells me so.
But I should say; that's just me. That's just how I see it this particular evening and maybe I'm "dropping the new years eve ball." Maybe I'm being a party pooper.
Maybe I'll wake up tomo with FOMO and regret of a different kind then my hangover fuelled ones of years past....but I'm willing to chance it. That's just how I'm feeling and it doesn't mean you shouldn't go do your thing tonight. Go get cray cray if that's what you want to do. Light that shit up! I've had some great NYE parties.......at least I think I did judging by the pictures.
So go have your fun however you want. Just make sure it's what you want to do.
Much love to all of you guys. Thanks for being part of a great year. I'll see ya in the next one my friends.
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